FINAAAAALLY GOT IN TO SEE THE DOCTOR
Her diagnosis:

~THERE'S FLUID UNDER MY KNEECAP~

but she can't give the antibiotics or whatever that'll help get rid of the fluid because I'm an asthmatic and apparently you can't give it to people with breathing problems or something, I dunno.
So I get to go to PHYSHIO! wow golly gosh isn't that exciting and not at all a pain in the arse

Anyway, I've actually sorted something out with the Job Centre for now and I'm on Employment & Support until my knee gets better.



fff These pain killers I got from the doctor are pretty drowsy. SLEEPING FACEDOWN ON KEYBOARD BRB
oh and I broke my tablet, isn't that a lark.

ONLINE CARBOOT SALE? WHAT IS THIS
I am broke so any help by buying my stuff would be gr8...

( ROLL UP ROLL UP! You know you want stuff. )


Something take your fancy?
Comment!

You'll need to PM me your address (either here or on DeviantArt) and I'll send you my Paypal :>
PLEASE also include your username when you send the money via Paypal so I know who's sending me money

These prices INCLUDE POSTAGE TO UK or US so I'll need the payment before I can mail your stuff!
I may also be willing to post free to other places but you'll have to give me time to look up costs. I have lots of sexy brown Jiffy bags.


IT MIGHT TAKE ME A WEEK OR SO TO GET DOWN TO THE POST OFFICE BUT I'LL TRY MY BEST TO SEND STUFF OUT ASAP
i have v painful knees dont rush me ;-;

...is that

ffff I'm quitting college. For a number of reasons.

I've taken all this time off with my bad knee(s) and I honest to God could never ever dream of catching up.
The problem is, over the last few years I've had major problems with my attention. It's one of the many things I 'don't really talk about' because I've always been scared that if I did, it would just sound like I was being lazy and trying to get out of doing things.

BUT SERIOUSLY.
It has now become a MAJOR problem.
I try. I try so fucking hard. But when it comes to something complicated that I have to really concentrate on I just can't do it. Can't, not won't. Sometimes it's so frustrating because I want to do something but can't focus that I just feel like crying.
I am absolutely fucked when it comes to essay writing, I might as well be trying to write in French for all the good it does me. I stare at the words and know what I have to do but it's like... there's a wall. And I'm blocked off from being able to do what I have to.
As soon as I know there's something I need to do it's like I CAN'T and I want to but I can't and I panic D:

It's been getting harder and harder over time and now it's finally reached a kind of unbearable level.
And it's not just college work, it's with the things I enjoy doing in my spare time too.
My art is suffering because I can't concentrate on one picture long enough to finish it. I get halfway through sketching, get to something kind of half-complicated and go "ah, I'll finish it later". And guess what? I never do. Which I feel is kind of restricting my improvement because I can't challenge myself enough even though I really want to.

AND FANDOM GETS IT TOO. I used to sit and read every single fucking fic that got posted on topgearslash or lifein1973 but now I just find it so hard to sit and concentrate on that one page long enough. It just takes way, WAY too much effort than it really should.
I even find it really hard to comment because even when I do take the time to read something (if I remember) I'm like "oh... can't comment now. IMPORTANT THINGS ARE HAPPENING! [even though they're not] I'll come back and comment later." and then I forget or feel like I've ~missed the moment~ or something equally stupid.

Nothing is fun this way.

...my Dad says I should talk to my doctor about it because it sounds like A.D.D. and I actually think I will because it doesn't sound damn far off.


OTHER REASONS FOR QUITTING:
- I don't think I'm going to improve my grade in History which is what I really stayed on for, but thanks to the above I'm just giving up all hope.
- The stupid new system that makes you do all these weird-ass extra lessons that you don't want to (I HAVE TO DO MUSIC THE FUCK IS THAT) and come in first thing in the morning even when you have no lessons until late in the afternoon and sit around on computers doing literally nothing for three hours a week (SO PRODUCTIVE) is enraging.
- Stupid twatwaffles I have to share a campus with
- wait, why do i have to justify myself. fuck you it's my journal and my life i can do what i want faggot.


Sorry for disappointing you Dad, but it's not like I've got nothing (two A-levels at least) and I can't put up with this shit any more... urgk, I still feel like I'm letting you down.

I got a letter the other day telling me I had:
AN APPOINTMENT FOR MINOR SURGERY
(in scary ass underlined writing just like that)
and I freaked out, like "WHOA NELLY, WHAT?! WHAT SURGERY WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME MEDIIIIIIIIC"
but then I remembered and was like "oh, lol, ok".
It's not as dramatic as they made it sound. ...trying to scare me like that. It's bad and you should feel bad.

Seeing as I'm on the subject of health!!
On Halloween Dave was talking about 'going into training' for next years Fun Run. A whole gang of guys on our street were going to run it next year for some cancer charity as a kind of way to honour Lynn's memory, which is really nice and everything, and seeing as I said I was going to get fit and HAVEN'T so far I thought it'd be a good opportunity for me to join in too.
So I told my ma and she was like "DON'T DO IT :I ...I don't think you should do it, seriously."
I mean, she has a point. I'm pretty asthmatic as well as being an unco-ordinated fuck (awww yeah, flailing around as I trip over my own feet is awsum), and recently I've been getting a whole lot of grief from my knees too.

MY WHOLE BODY IS FALLING APART LIKE A RUSTY BIKE SEND HELP

It's always just little things that add up ffff. I'm such a naturally achy person.

And right now: my ear is all infected and gross, thanks stretching crescent!
It was like... three times the size of my other ear and stung like a bitch. Heh.

Oh and I've had this lump in my neck for about a year and I accidentally touched it for the first time in ages yesterday and WTFFF, it is so big now. Before it was a bump, now it feels like a pea under my skin.
Normally this would be enough to freak me out completely but tbh, at the minute I'm just so fed up of having something wrong with me that I'm finding it hard to care.

Man, I feel crappy with all these minor things, my heart really goes out to anyone suffering from long-term illnesses.

tired of being tired of being tired of being tired of being tired of being tired of being tired...

Because on Sunday for the first time EVER IN MY LIFE EVER I spent the evening out with my dad.
We went to see Complete Madness and it was balls to the wall awesome (as they always are).
I had to leave for the taxi about half an hour into their second set but that doesn't matter, it was still awesome.
You ever see a bunch of skinheads in business suits dancing around a bar to a cover of 'My Boy Lollipop'? It is amaze.

I've been ragingly ill since Saturday but I still managed to go out and have a good time :V
They played 'Pressure Drop' which I've never heard them do before omg.


my steel stretching crescent came a couple of days ago aaaaahhh I'm sure it will look most attractive



IN OTHER NEWS: totaldrwhofreak INFORMS ME THAT TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL CAPSLOCK DAY.
MAY THE CAPS BE WITH YOU.

It's called the Nissan Eporo, just look at their little faces and everything.







awwwww
Supposedly they're all programmed to follow each other, mimicking a school of fish and the like. I WANT THEM.

LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN GODDAMN

http://twitter.com/exkevinmcnally



Further proof that cool kids use Twitter? Maybe. Maybe.

- get some money
- get some money, OH GOD IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY I CAN'T DO ANY OF THE THINGS I LIKE (protip: I like spending money)
- Buy some proper ball closure rings because the things in my ears right now are pretty rancid and I daren't take them out to clean them because they have a dodgy clasp and I'm scared I'll never get them back in again.
- Sleep more.
- Get some of those hand grip things that you squeeze. I think they're just called 'hand grips'. Why do I even care what they're called, oh god.
- Actually draw that one guy from my 'TAINTED' story and not be all whiny and pissy about it and go "OH IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE DID IN MY HEAD fgsfdsfgsfdsfgsWARRENCLAAAAAAAAAARKE"
- Draw some really dreadful comic strips while I'm at it about terrible things happening to stupid people.
- Shut up.

and heh, looks like my arm's finally stopped aching from when the nurse stuck a needle in it.
Hell I don't care, I got a ~FREE NEEDLE~ in my arm - FUCK YEAH!
The waiting room was full of old people wanting flu jabs when I was down there and it was scary. Stop peeping at me, old lady, go back to your Heat magazine from 2003.
aaaaaaahhhhh

I was going to go to bed early but then I spent hours fannying about, sorting my new profile layout (go look) to be all grey and miserable JUST HOW I LIKE IT.
So anyway
seeing as I'm still on the internet
I figured I might as well make a post about the dream I had last night before I forget it. If I can forget it.
IT REALLY FUCKING DISTURBED ME OH GOD OH GOD.

( CONTAINS BUNNY TORTURE AND BEING A DREAM-CREEPER )

My dreams are so scary and wrong, it's not even half funny.

In an additional note WHAT THE CRAP is up with Andrew Lee Potts being in my dreams?! It's like the second or third time it's happened and I've never even watched Primeval.

GO AWAY ANDREW YOU DREAM STALKER

Let me fill y'all in if you missed it.
CHEWFOX GOES ON TYRA BANKS SHOW TALKING ABOUT FURRIES AND FURSUIT SEX. FURRIES GET ANGRY. EVERYONE DIES.
For full information, see article here (it's actly accurate for once GASP).

Anyway, the oh-so-lovely Izzy wrote a journal about it asking for thoughts.
So here is copy-pasta of my two cents pence.



~CaptainOzza:

"They are all as bad as eachother tbh.

Chewfox is dumb for a few reasons.
1) Posting on FA saying "LOOK AT ME I'M GOING ON TYRA BANKS TO REPRESENT ALL FURRIES" and then making a shitty job of it by talking about her own fucked up fetish and not pointing out that this is NOT a thing that is standard for the whole community.
2) A feeling pretty widespread through all the furry guys (or so I've seen) seems to be that the fandom should stay out of the public eye, after the Nicks in the hotel thing and the article with quotes from !Pr0stSh0cKeR . She's brought them right out into the spotlight again and revived all the negativity surrounding furries.
3) For agreeing to GO ON A FUCKING CHATSHOW, THE SUBJECT OF WHICH WAS SPECIFICALLY SEX, AND TRYING TO MAKE FURRY SEEM "NORMAL".
Chew, you did not help at all in trying to make those guys look good. NO.

The vast majority of the fandumb is retarded for going "HOW DARE SHE. HOW DARE SHE TALK ABOUT SEX AS IF FURRY IS ALL ABOUT SEX, FUCK."
...while they themselves are in it mostly for the porn and stupid-ass fetish art.
Get over yourselves. You're all abnormal. It IS a lot about sex for most of you and furry will never be accepted by normal people anyway.

And I don't know much about Tyra because I am a britfag but she just seems like a stupid tit in general.

...I honestly just feel sorry for the few honest-to-god ones that like to draw cartoon animal people :I


tl;dr - CHEWFOX FUCKED UP BIG
FURRIES CRIED FOR LOSS OF REMAINING DIGNITY (loldignity)
ALL WERE HYPOCRITICAL FAGGOTS
NOTHING OF VALUE WAS TRULY LOST
OZZA ATE SOME DONUTS
the end"



~ShePanda:

"I agree, I believe ChewFox should have been a HELL MORE descriptive c: But then again it seemed like she thought that it's normal that every furry likes fucking their lame selves in suit.

And the thing is, I hate that artists (like myself) get stereotyped for a sexual fetish. That's pretty much the only reason why I find this so wrong. I draw anthro art. Someone asks if I am a furry, then theyre like "OHOHOHO SO YOU GET OFF TO MASCOTS" and I'm just like T-T"



~CaptainOzza:

"That's the thing.
Chewfox had an opportunity to publicly state that this is NOT JUST a fetish, point out that not everyone saw it the same way as she did. But she didn't.
She actually (but inadvertently) enforced this negative view of furries.
By just agreeing to appear in this SEX RELATED segment of the show, she had damned herself from the off.

The whole fandumb is pretty much damned in general
lol :V"







The accumulated filth of all their yiffles and yaffles will foam up about their waists and all the furfags and dogfuckers will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No."

BECAUSE I'M A FAG I WROTE OUT A BUNCH OF SNIPPETS FROM THE DVD COMMENTARY WITH COLIN BAKER, NICOLA BRYANT AND KEVIN "yes-this-is-my-real-beard" MCNALLY.



I would not have to do this if they weren't so stupid and adorable together.
And if you don't believe me, first thing I've put under the cut is the story of the ~NICOLA BRYANT BUM-BITING COMPETITION~ which made me both d'aaawww and :3c
Why so shippy, guys? Even now?

I love that they seemed to have had so much fun together, even though Kevin only worked on the one story.
and omgomgomg even THEY thought that Hugo Lang should have stayed on as a companion, which is exactly what I said after I first saw the episode. And Colin even suggested him as a love interest for Peri. OH COLIN YOU'RE KILLING ME, YOU SHIP IT TOO ;___;

I don't really ship much seriously anymore (only GenexHarry because of the TRAGIC LOST 70'S MANLY LOVE) but oh lawd. This. If only somebody else out there gave a shit about The Twin Dilemma instead of being all like "no that story was the worst".

ANYWAAAAAAAAY here is a picture for your troubles


gay as a tree <3
ONWARDS!

( THE BUM STORY )


( And other buggers... )

And lastly, for the sheer D'AAAW-ness of Kevin's innocence...

Nicola: Now we get to shake hands and say goodbye, twice, I believe.
Kevin: And I never came on to you once in the whole show!
Nicola: Except for biting my bum.
Kevin: No, I meant as a character.

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
I loved how he managed to call each of the other two 'Darling' at least once during the commentary too. Kevin, you're such an old luvvie.
I'll stop being such a girly, soppy fanfaggot now.

I GOT MY TWIN DILEMMA DVD TODAY
hey gasmask i stole your sparkle gif because it seemed appropriately terrifying and awesome i hope that is okay


THIS EPISODE IS P LOL
NOW I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT A HELL OF A LOT AND GOD HELP ME, YOU WILL LISTEN I WAITED LIKE SIX MONTHS FOR THIS DVD GODDAMN IT. HUGO LANG MOTHERFUCKERS HE IS KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES.

I was going to do a run-through of the episode but it's late and I can't be arsed so instead I'm spamming with beautiful PRODUCTION PHOTOS FUCK YES. I tried to use the less common ones because they are the most awesome.

If you like Classic Who I guess they could be kind of interesting to look at :I
Tbh I'm just posting shit to satisfy myself, too much fanfaggotry that must be expressed right now oh god. I don't expect anyone to even really look, let alone comment.



BUT CHECK OUT THIS PIMP-ASS MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT HERE
HOW DO PEOPLE NOT LIKE SIX? I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT THOSE MANLY-ASS CURLS. WHO DOESN'T WANT THAT IN THEIR HOUSE?

( KEVIN WHAT THE CRAP IS UP WITH YOUR DISCO JACKET )

I know my LJ interests have had Six/Peri/Hugo Lang listed on them for a while now. I wasn't sure whether I was half-joking though, but after listening to the DVD commentary... holy balls, I ship the hell out of them. All of them. The actors too.
More on that later.

I need to shut up and go to bed now.




I've neglected LJ so bad recently oh lawdy lawdy I'm sorry I'm going to try and become active and commenty again soon I swears it :'(

AWWWWWWWWW YEAH B)


Is it a terrible story? Of course it is.
BUT

Six throttling Peri = awesome
Hugo Lang and his shiny sparkle coat of Edward Cullen wrapped in tinfoil wonder = awesome
Hugo Lang's eyebrows = awesome
HUGO LANG = AWESOME
That bit where Hugo, Six and Peri all have a gigantic threesome = awe-oh wait no...
no, I made that one up... I am disappoint :(

Also there is MOTHERFUCKING COMMENTARY with Colin Baker, Nicola Bryant and Kevin McNally. Shit is so cash.

I-I CAN'T STOP LISTENING ;______;


WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE
MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN